You know when you were a kid and you felt like the top of the world. And that nothing was unattainable? I was just thinking about those times, and even though they were only 1 or 2 short years away. They feel like aeons ago. What I missed most about those feelings was that you were ignorant of the real world and in light of that you had many opportunities to tailor the beginning of your life as you saw fit. And the BANG, it was over and you entered adulthood and the realisation of your pseudo childhood environment evaporate with only memories as tokens of the past. But some of those memories are more than that. They contruct your social and psychological being. And I suppose we unconsciously act on most of them. You know how we all say that we tend to learn from our mistakes. Well I did, and unfortunately for some I didn’t. I’ll be the first to admit that I’m ignorant and stubborn. Shit, that’s how I got to where I am now. I’m here at University, had an amazing high school experience and I’m pretty much living sweet and then some.
But if I do regret one thing it’s what’s happening now. Fuck, had no idea it could go this far. It coulda been. No it should have been the end. Well the happy ending. It’s just one of those times when ‘you don’t know what you have till it’s gone’ – as Joni Mitchell would say. And it’s true eh. Not until the final moments of existence when we feel like we have eveything to lose and everything to gain do we actually realise the extent of the situation. But then again, in the presence of strong emotions we are able to elucidate our feelings appropriately but to say how far they reach is another question. Though in that moment, as I have experienced, there are all true, and if we could – we’d make it truer.
Sorry about the cliche. But where one chapter ends, and another begins. But we only live until the end. And I hate to admit it, but I wanna be there after the end. Because I don’t think I’ll ever truly know about anything.
you’re like a hard candy, with a surprise center (8)